idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
