She said her name was "party"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
