My hand turned me down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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