she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
