We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
