Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize