found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
