he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
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I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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