I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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