dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
