in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
