he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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