They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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