What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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