That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
