Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
