I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize