...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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