2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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