you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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