Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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