Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize