If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And then he peed in my hair
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