yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
