I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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