apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
