I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
