Well now I have my semen on her headphones
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize