Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
