He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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