For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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