This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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