Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize