No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
