either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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