I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize