His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can Purell be used as lube?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
