if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
be right there i have to get my cape
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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