I didn't shave. On purpose
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
