Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
