i just google imaged poop.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can I color on your dick again?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
