If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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