Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
