i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
