I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
