i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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