We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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