how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
