OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
