rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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