Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
