She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
