his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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