is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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