do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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